There comes a point in doula support when something changes.
We have had our conversations, prepared together, thought things through and made space for what matters to you. Your due date is getting closer.
And then my on-call period begins.
At Mothers & Moon, that is from 37 weeks of pregnancy.
But what does it actually mean when your doula says she is on call?
From 37 weeks, I am available day and night
From the start of my on-call period, you can phone me 24 hours a day, seven days a week when labour begins.
Even in the middle of the night. Even when you are still wondering whether this really is the start.
I ask my clients to call as soon as they think labour has begun. We start with a check-in over the phone: how are you doing? What are you feeling? What is happening? And do you need me there already?
Where I come to next depends on where you are at that moment and what you need.
If you are still at home and would like support there during early labour, I will come to your home. If we go to hospital later, I can leave from there with you.
Already in hospital when you need me? Then I will come straight there.
So there is no fixed point at which you have to leave for hospital first because your doula is coming. I join you wherever you are.
I usually join you when active labour begins. But of course, birth cannot be completely predicted. If you need me sooner, we will work out together what is needed at that moment.
From the moment I arrive, I stay with you.
Not just until your baby is born, but until the birth is fully complete. That includes the birth of the placenta. I normally stay for about another hour afterwards, so there is time to settle before I leave.
Being on call begins long before my phone rings
For me, being on call means much more than simply turning up my phone’s volume at night.
From 37 weeks, I make sure everything is ready for the moment you call. My doula bag is packed and ready to go. My car always has enough fuel, and my phone is charged with the sound turned up.
Every mother I am on call for even has her own ringtone. That way, before I have even looked at the screen, I know when the call I have been waiting for comes in.
Your address is also saved in my satnav beforehand.
And then there are the little things you might never think about. I normally wash my hair in the morning, for example. During my on-call period, I make sure I go to bed with freshly washed hair. Because if my phone rings in the middle of the night, I do not want to have to jump in the shower first.
They are all small, practical things. But they are exactly what means I do not still have a whole list of things to arrange or gather together when you call.
At that moment, I want to have just one thing to focus on: getting ready to come to you.
Being on call affects life at home too
Being on call for a birth does not only affect my schedule. Everything at home also needs to be arranged so that I can leave at any moment.
Of course, I am not only a doula. I am also Rose’s mum. That is why my husband and I agree beforehand who can look after her when my phone rings. During the day, in the evening and in the middle of the night.
For me, that is an important part of preparing. I do not want to be working out who can care for Rose at the very moment you need me. I want to be able to leave knowing she is well cared for, so that I can then give you my full attention.
At home, we also know our plans can change suddenly during an on-call period. Birth does not take account of school hours, bedtime, weekend plans or whatever we had planned for that evening.
My diary looks a little different when I am on call
From 37 weeks, I plan my days a little differently. Of course, I do not stop working, making appointments or living my everyday life, but I do allow for the fact that everything could suddenly change.
When I make an appointment during my on-call period, I usually let people know beforehand that I am on call for a birth. I may need to cancel at the last moment because my client needs me.
Whenever I go somewhere, I also keep in mind that I need to stay reachable and be able to leave if necessary.
That does not mean I sit at home beside my phone waiting from 37 weeks onwards. Life carries on. There is simply one possibility I am always keeping in mind from that point: perhaps today is the day my phone will ring.
Because birth does not follow a diary.
A part of my life is ready to leave
Perhaps that is the best way to explain what being on call means to me.
From 37 weeks, it is not just my phone that is ready. My doula bag is ready, my car is ready, arrangements have been made at home and my diary allows for the possibility that I may need to leave at any moment.
From then on, a part of my life is ready for when your birth begins.
Not to take over your labour or decide how you should give birth. But to come to you when you need me and stay beside you throughout your birth.
Because ultimately, that is exactly what I want to do as a doula. Be there, offer support and walk part of the way with you.
Being on call also means keeping space available
What may be less visible is that being on call also means deliberately keeping space in my diary.
As a doula, I cannot support unlimited numbers of clients at the same time. I can hardly promise twenty women at once that, from 37 weeks, I will be ready to leave day and night. Births cannot be neatly scheduled one after another, and babies certainly do not take account of my diary.
That is why I take on only a limited number of births in any given period. This reduces the chance of too many on-call periods overlapping and allows me to give each client the availability I promise.
That is also part of what you pay for when you choose doula support. Not only the conversations we have together or the hours I am ultimately present at your birth. You also pay for the period in which I organise my diary so that I am reachable and can leave when your labour begins.
So part of doula support is work you, as a client, may never literally see. Yet it is precisely that availability that makes it possible for me to be there when you need me.
Wondering whether a doula is right for you?
Perhaps you are pregnant and wondering whether doula support is for you. Or perhaps you would simply like to find out what it looks like in practice.
During a no-obligation introductory conversation, we take the time to get to know each other. You can tell me what matters to you, ask all your questions and discover whether my approach feels right for you.
You do not have to decide immediately afterwards. What matters most is that it feels right on both sides.
Want to know more? Read all about my doula support and arrange your no-obligation introduction.